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Creepypasta Wiki:Deletion Appeal
__NOWYSIWYG__ After Hours __my story should be undeleted because it meets standards of a creepypasta, and it is well thought through and thoroughly checked__ By: abnormal physco :Starting with the smaller issues. Dialogue needs to be spaced out. There shouldn't be two people speaking in the same paragraph as it can lead to confusion. (Unless stating the speaker each time, which becomes redundant.) I would also recommend against beginning sentences with conjunctions (but, and, because) as it is technically not grammatically correct. (It is fine in dialogue, but in the story itself, it just comes across as choppy. You should also break the paragraphs up a little (to about 5-10 sentences per paragraph.) to make it easier to read. :Onto the larger issues, there're a number of punctuation, capitalization, wording, and grammatical issues. Beginning with punctuation issues, there are commas missing from sentences where a pause is needed, punctuation missing from dialogue, ("Time for bed kid(,/.) my dad...", (Quotation missing)Time for all young people to go to sleep.(Quotation mark missing) He said as he slowly started to close my door . (spacing issues)", " If someone set a specific time why,(Question mark needed)And is there a age limit for this faze. (phase?)", ""It -it's Josh he's dead(period missing)" Apostrophes missing from words denoting possession. "friend(')s house", (Quotations missing)We know where you are. We knew you would hear us outside. It took some time but we scheduled a(an) assassination . Good plan,but your (you're)right where we need you .(spacing issue) Well then you know who the other person is now don't you.(?) Don't try to escape you already know we've planned that.(Quotations missing) :Capitalization issues: "I heard a familiar voice say(comma and space missing"Josh is becoming to be a disobedient young man(period needed) He's.(sic) Beginning (beginning) to ask more questions about us (period missing)", "I saw ms.felipe(Ms. Felipe's) tears coming down her face.", " josh's empty desk.", "...to ms.Felipe. (Ms. Felipe) my (My) heart stopped.", "But why? those freaks planned on killing me." :Grammatical errors. (You're=you are, your=possession.) wording issues: "my (My) world went red. To (Too) much to take in." Also a fragmented sentence. "me, And (capitalization) I'd need all the food and money I could get. I easdropped (eavesdropped) on my parents(,/.) And I heard enough. my... (My)" :Finally the ending is problematic. "I enjoyed writing all of this but I have someone that is coming for me in 3,2,1. Size news: (Size news?) today we have found a young man in an abandoned house slaughtered. He left a series of clues but we still don't know who he is. We only know how he died. Investigators will get further information as quickly as possible." So the protagonist timed it down to seconds yet made no attempt to escape? He also spent his final moments uploading the story to this site. Finally ending on a newspaper article is farly generic especially when it gives little to no information on the protagonist's death. I'm sorry, but this story does not meet the quality standards of this site and the appeal is being turned down. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 22:03, December 10, 2014 (UTC) Don't Move - Ritualpasta Deleted after it got a nomination for creepypasta of the month and also deleted because of no story which a ritualpasta does not need a story. I would like it be brought back because of non - volation of rules. (AURAMAGIC) :The story was actually deleted by LOLSKELETONS for Cliches. I will address that later, but at this moment, I think it's important to focus on some of the issues I found in the story. Once again, there are punctuation issues. "You will not be permitted to move(comma) speak(comma) or even open your eyes at any instance until the ritual it (is) done.", "If done correctly and you followed the instructions correctly (redundancy with correctly, also a comma/period is missing) you will find yourself accomplishing one thing like finding the one thing (redundancy with this) you need in your collection or become rich by trying out the lottery." (Also could be broken up into two smaller sentences to help with flow.) "Ok(,) now to start the ritual you have to do the following :(space not needed)" :Wording errors "In exactly one minute(,) the spirits can be heard if you have not put cottonballs in your ears and can touch you (and) even produce loud screaming to make you move." "When this is done(,) pour the salt in a circle around you so the dead cannot interact with you anymore and chant the words(:/,) "I have won and now you shall grant me my prize" such as before (Awkward phrasing, like before) you have to speak loudly and clearly.", "Be aware that if you moved that (redundant) the dead will follow you for an unknown time and that (Overuse of "that") they might kill you." :Finally the ending needs some work. "Good luck and may your future not be a haunted one." It seems kind of anticlimactic. We unfortunately need to update the cliche list as there is little mention of ritual pastas, but the concept of the nondescript reward is fairly prevalent in ritual pastas. You can also message LOLSKELETONS if you want his reasonings. Also the idea of being pursued by the dead is interesting, but it needs more detail You mention psychological trauma at the start but never elaborate on it. "Be aware that if you moved that the dead will follow you for an unknown time and that they might kill you." What would be a frightening concept is weakened through lack of details. (followed for an unknown amount of time and the implication that they might kill you needs a little more oomph.) I'm sorry WatcherAzazel and Auramagic, but this comes off as a fairly generic ritual pasta with punctuation and wording errors. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 02:53, December 11, 2014 (UTC) ::While I enjoyed the Pasta alot, I do see your reasoning. I hope AURAMAGIC will take this into account, and do another draft.--WatcherAzazel (talk) 04:31, December 11, 2014 (UTC) :::The Writer's workshop is helpful for this reason. (Getting feedback) Also, please don't comment here unless it is for an appeal. Thanks. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 04:35, December 11, 2014 (UTC) Elsword : the glitch that made me quit This pasta was also created by me but was deleted seconds after it was published which could not have been apropriate time for the admin to read and delete it and no rules were violated by this pasta so i would like it returned aswell. The ending was suppose to be a source of comedy if there was any problem with that. (AURAMAGIC) :Here is a copy of the story. However looking over it, I can see quite a bit of grammatical issues and plot problems. Also since "Elsword" is a game, it should be put in italics or quotations. :"I" needs to be capitalized. "as i went ", "and i'm not sure", " but i should have", enemy's should be enemies as that is the plural. "...inflicting was just to much..." (Wording issue, too should be used as it references amounts.) Additionally you shift from past tense to present a number of times throughout the story. "The next thing I knew I was it the Time and Space dungeon which I had cleared thousands of times in the past and just as easy with the new character I have. As I look(looked) at my glorious combo's and damage I realise (realized/realised)..." :Punctuation issues, commas are missing from sentences where a pause is needed and dialogue should be preceded by a comma. (said(comma missing) " That's(spacing issue) what happens..."), "after reading this(,) i (I) pressed..." there are also run-on sentences. "Since then(,) I've have been playing first person shooter MMO's and the game I've been playing recently has a new character and i (I) hope i (I) don't have to delete a character to play him." That should be broken up into two sentences. :As for the plot issues. There are two major Cliches here. "you are next!" is so common it found it's way onto the page for cliches. It really isn't an effective means for increasing tension/creepiness. Additionally the concept of characters in video games feeling pain and being deleted has been covered by a lot of poke pastas/other video game stories. (Most notably Jessica) I'm sorry, but this story has a lot of issues with Quality Standards and the generic/non-descriptive plot really doesn't do it many favors. The appeal is being turned down. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 02:13, December 11, 2014 (UTC) The House Of The Smiling Swordsman Okay, I'm pretty new to this. I mean, I've been on this page a lot and read a lot of creepypastas, but I'm new to the whole 'appealing' thing as I only made an account today to post. I don't understand exactly how to do this so I apologise for any giant mistakes. I read through the quality standards and I made sure all the spelling, grammar, spacing, capitalisation and formatting was correct. I'm not sure exactly why it was deleted, but could it be undeleted please? It met the standards and it didn't involve any overused lines or quotes, or so I think. All I got from the deletion log was that it didn't meet the quality standards, yet I was sure it did. If this can't be undeleted, I'm sorry for wasting your time. Enjoy the rest of your day/night (depending on timezones/where you live). Psychopathicarsonist (talk) 14:25, December 12, 2014 (UTC) Sure, you had spelling, grammar, spacing, capitalization and formatting. All that was correct. However you forgot the most important part: the story itself. That's the reason it was deleted. The following is my opinion, so take it with a grain of salt. So, as I see it there's not really a satisfying progression in the story. Your character finds the house, goes in, talks for a bit and then leaves. It doesn't leave anything memorable in the reader, in fact, it left me pretty nonplussed. I recommend you rethink what exactly you wanted to tell with your story. It must give some sort of plot to the reader for it to be a good story. If the reader doesn't really know what was the point of the story, then it wasn't done correctly. --"You know why he's here? Why he's investigating the broken rules? He's not paid or anything. He likes it. He gets off on it" (talk) 14:38, December 12, 2014 (UTC) Ah, right. Yeah, I got it. Thank you for that, it helps. I'll remember that. Hopefully, next time I try and do something like this (or similar), it'll be 3000% better. Thanks for your help! ^^ Psychopathicarsonist (talk) 14:57, December 12, 2014 (UTC) The British Sheep Cloning First off, looking over your stories, I can see quite a bit of capitalization, grammatical, wording errors. Capitalization: animals do not need to be capitalized. ("Cows" "Sheep", etc) Words capitalized in the middle of sentences ("...and Hydreliox, Once (once) the gas was turned on(comma missing) the Sheep(sheep) fell into a deep sleep, the Sheep’s(sheep's) heart rate was monitored as well as it’s (its) breathing.", "March 1995, The (the)cloned sheep has been put into quarantine for a time but it was showing all normal signs of a regular sheep, It (it) would eat, sleep(,) and relieve..." At first I thought you meant to capitalize "it" as an emphatic, but later on when referring to the sheep (with gender neutrality) you don't capitalize "it". "March; 1995, The (the) cloned sheep had been acting a bit odd for the first few hours, It (it) had stopped eating and sleeping, it (as mentioned earlier, no consistency in capitalization) even had stopped going near the normal sheep, it was carefully monitored for the next few days." This sentence is also a run-on and needs to be broken into smaller, more fluid sentences. Onto grammar. (it's=it is, its=possession) "it’s (its) breathing" "it’s (its) eyes were blood red (cliche), it’s (its) wool was shaving off...", "it’s head torn off,", Wording issues: there are quite a lot of run-on sentences here. "April 1995, The (the) cloned sheep was found but not as it was before, the fur and skin have peeled off, All (all) that was left of the sheep is muscle and bones, the head was a horrible sight as it was just muscle and bone, Zubritsky told the team that it would be taken back to the lab and that it would be experimented on.", "March; 1995, The (the) cloned sheep had been acting a bit odd for the first few hours, It (it) had stopped eating and sleeping, it (as mentioned earlier, no consistency in capitalization) even had stopped going near the normal sheep, it was carefully monitored for the next few days.", "April 1995, A (a) surgery was taken onto (performed on? "Taken unto" is awkwardly phrased) the sheep and it was just plain confusing, parts of intestines and veins were taken out or (had) fallen off (out of) the sheep, It (it) is unknown how it survived without these parts of the body, The (the) sheep was to remain in quarantine until further time." Story issues: you start off sounding fairly scientific until the cloning itself. "A blue and green light was ordered to be turned on by Zubritsky and as it was the heart rate of the sheep began to increase, slowly the sheep began to change until there was a flash inside the tube, Zubritsky and Hillmer ran to the next room where another tube was only to discover the first cloned sheep." (That is just phrased awkwardly and lacks the scientific approach you used when discussing the dosing of the sheep.) For a scientific experiment, the protagonist really doesn't back up any of the claims. (Why are the eyes red? Why is the skin peeling off? What caused muscle-growth. Additionally the use of red eyes has become so prevalent in stories that it has made its way onto the list of Cliches. I'm sorry, but this story has a lot of issues, I would suggest taking your next story to the writer's workshop because this sense that your stories are grammatically perfect and are being 'falsely deleted' is only going to result in more of your stories being deleted for not meeting quality standards. I'm turning down this appeal. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 16:34, December 14, 2014 (UTC) The Arcade disappearance I think my story The Arcade disappearance should be undeleted because it met the standers from what I read but correct me if I'm wrong. I'm just beginning and it wasn't the best but I'm a beginner like I said--JNgamingandmore(on youtube) (talk) 23:09, December 14, 2014 (UTC)JNgamingandmore(on youtube)